Heat things up when they’re cooling down: Behind the Scenes of Sex Therapy
When people hear the term sex therapy, they often picture something completely different from reality. In truth, sex therapy is not something that happens to you—it’s something we do together in a safe, respectful, and private environment.
It’s Talk-Based, Not Hands-On
A common misconception is that sex therapy involves physical contact between therapist and client. That’s not the case. Sessions look much like any other form of talk therapy: we meet, we talk, and we explore what’s getting in the way of your sexual connection or satisfaction. We may include mindfulness and somatic practices to help your brain connect with your body.
Instead of physical exercises in my office, you might leave with “homework”—specific activities or conversations to try at home, on your own or with your partner, designed to build comfort, intimacy, and connection in real-life settings.
Why People Come to Sex Therapy
People seek sex therapy for all kinds of reasons, including:
Mismatched desire between partners
Pain or discomfort during intimacy
Difficulty talking about sexual needs
Rebuilding trust after infidelity
Navigating changes after childbirth, illness, or trauma
No matter the reason, therapy focuses on understanding what’s going on emotionally, physically, and relationally—and then creating a personalized plan for moving forward.
One Well-Known Technique: Sensate Focus
Sensate focus is a cornerstone exercise in many sex therapy approaches. Developed by Masters and Johnson, it’s designed to help couples reconnect through touch without the pressure of a sexual “goal.” High-level, it works like this:
You and your partner set aside time to focus only on gentle, mindful touch—such as holding hands, stroking an arm, or a light back rub.
The goal isn’t arousal or orgasm, but simply noticing sensations, slowing down, and enjoying closeness.
Over time, this reduces performance anxiety, builds trust, and rekindles a sense of curiosity and playfulness in intimacy.
A Safe Place to Talk About the “Un-talk-about-able”
Sex therapy offers a judgment-free zone to explore topics that might feel awkward, embarrassing, or even shameful to bring up elsewhere. You can expect respect, confidentiality, and an open, compassionate ear. Because when you have a safe place to talk openly, healing and connection have a way of growing naturally.
✨ Let’s talk about what might be getting in the way—and what’s possible. ✨